The Worth Of Knowing

“‘I have no wish to talk
nonsense.‘”

“‘If you did, it would be in such a grave, quiet manner, I should mistake it for sense. Do you never laugh, Miss Eyre? Don’t trouble yourself to answer–I see you laugh rarely; but you can laugh very merrily: believe me, you are not naturally austere, any more than I am naturally vicious. The Lowood constraint still clings to you somewhat; controlling your features, muffling your voice, and restricting your limbs; and you fear in the presence of a man and a brother–or father, or master, or what you will–to smile too gaily, speak too freely, or move too quickly: but, in time, I think you will learn to be natural with me, as I find it impossible to be conventional with you; and then your looks and movements will have
more vivacity and variety than they dare offer now. I see at intervals the glance of a curious sort of bird through the close-set bars of a cage: a vivid, restless, resolute captive is there; were it but free, it would soar cloud-high.’”

~ Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

During high school a mom wanted to type cast me as Jane for the musical until she found out I don’t act or sing (and come to think of it neither does Jane soooo …). I also remember reading this part of Jane and Rochester’s conversation over and over again wondering why it resonated with me. My seventeen year old self more than likely wanted to feel what it was like to “be natural” in front of people instead of fearing their presence.

All that said, this isn’t a post or essay on Jane Eyre or myself. It’s simply noting that if we look closely we may find that our “Lowood constraint still clings to [us] somewhat” when we spend time with God and think about Him. What we experienced in the past or what we experience in current relationships may (and often does) influence how we relate to God.

I think simply noticing and acknowledging that allows us to see that our feelings and thoughts about God may not be based on what we know according to Scripture to be true. The constraints or habits we formed in other relationships may (or may not) have been true for those relationship, but they’re likely not based on Truth when it comes to our relationship with God.

There is no safer place for our true selves to be than in God’s presence. He made us and died for us after all. But their is no more dangerous place for our sin and lies than in God’s presence. We may believe that they protect us from being hurt or that they help us just get through, but they’re really restraining us from experiencing God’s goodness in this life. We feel vulnerable and hurt as we realize our shield was really a cage and is now being torn down. But God faithfully hammers away at the cage so we can “soar cloud-high” for our good and His glory.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭1:6‬ ‭ESV‬‬