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I see a place where my heart can stay soft
I’ve wondered:What will keep my heart soft?What will keep it hopeful and curious?I’ve seen the way growth and changeare trampled down by forcesbeyond my reach. I’ve experienced how standing against themresults in a trampled heart. I’ve felt how angerbitternessimpatiencerise up to shield my soft heart. I hate this. It means the forces have all but… Continue reading
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Perception of God: Experiences + Knowledge
“This was so not worth it!” my six year old said as we walked back toward our car after our one mile hike. I was a little disappointed. “Well, you did find fun things to collect along the way,” I reminded her, “And you got to see the big river at the look out.” “Still… Continue reading
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Loving Unbelievers
I was in the break room typing up my note for work. A coworker was divulging to another coworker and I their current relationship situation. Suddenly, they turned their head sharply and looked at me, “Stop judging me. Not everyone is meant to marry young and have a family.” Startled, as I had not said… Continue reading
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On the Trail
The other day my six year old started out our mile hike sprinting. My husband and I looked at each other smiling as she continued to run up a hill. She was fast and determined, but we knew what was inevitably going to happen. Halfway up the hill she stopped in her tracks and lay… Continue reading
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Forgiveness changed me
I changed when you forgave me. Maybe it was the way you earnestly said that you didn’t want this to become a memory I cringed at. You didn’t want it to weigh me down. To you, it wasn’t an obstacle between us anymore and you asked me not to view it that way either. I… Continue reading
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Narrative Change: God Was In Christ
The old narrative that my sin and the sin of the world overwhelms God has touched nearly every aspect of my life. The belief that God’s holiness is far greater and more lasting than sin is slowly pealing away this old narrative. Like pealing wallpaper, sometimes large pieces come off quickly and smoothly and sometimes… Continue reading
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Does God need to be good to us?
“God didn’t need to [send Jesus to die on the cross, give us the Holy Spirit, preserve our faith, etc.].” If I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a hundred times. *cue my nervous laughter* What are we actually saying when we say “God didn’t need to ____” and is it supported by Scripture? I… Continue reading
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The Fence: A Poem on Salvation and Doubt
They say you’re either for or against;There’s no room for sitting on the fence. What about when I can’t enjoy my sin,But I don’t trust God – where’s he been?When my mind is consumed with doubtI plead to God for a way out. I’m waiting on the fence. All I hear is silence. The pastor… Continue reading
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God In Hell: An Unexpected Comfort
Several years ago, a non Christian told me that the belief that God can’t be in the presence of sin is unbiblical. At the time I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. What about God’s holiness? His purity? I let questions like these simmer in the back of my mind for years. Maybe God… Continue reading
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How doubt can be part of a believer’s journey to closeness with God
I told myself I’d give him a chance. People I love seemed to respect him. I wouldn’t make hasty judgements. I wouldn’t look for faults. I’d remain open to learn from him. But then he stood behind the pulpit and spoke. I groaned inwardly. Not 30 seconds had gone by and he reminded me of… Continue reading
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I’m Sorry: an apology for what was (or was not) said about marriage
Husbands and wives: I’m sorry. I’m sorry if the model and idea of marriage was served to you with cynicism. I’m sorry if the divorce rate was described more like an unstoppable monster than a statistic that bows before the hand of God. I’m sorry if Christian marriage was described more often as two sinners… Continue reading
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Hidden
I pray we humbly hide ourselves in God’s protective care. I pray we grow to trust that God sees our hurt (Genesis 16:13). I pray we would believe that God is not overwhelmed by evil like we are, but that He in His holiness is strong enough to work in evil to bring about good… Continue reading
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In Which I Don’t Get Political
I don’t (or, rather, extremely rarely) talk or write about political things. If we’re being honest, politics never really gets to the root issues. That said, I think we work with what we got, and hold hope for what we’re not. I do occasionally write on things that people view as political. I don’t believe… Continue reading
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Touched
“I Can See You” by T Swift … quite the inappropriate song, but the line “But what would you do if I went to touch you now?” got me thinking. It made me think of how inappropriate it was for Jesus to touch the leper (and miraculously heal him rather than becoming infected by the… Continue reading
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Keep Me
I wonder if trusting in my faith in Jesus to save me is the reformed version of trusting in my work for Jesus to save me. Yeah … that can be a hard one to swallow. But coming to terms with this has also been one of the most freeing, wonderful things I’ve experienced. And… Continue reading
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Pleasant Places
The verses that inspired “The Edge of Goodness” the poem (and later became the name for my book) were from Psalm 106: ”They despised the pleasant land and did not believe his promise. They grumbled in their tents and did not listen to the Lord.“ Psalms 106:24-25 CSB Despising pleasant places sounded strange and intriguing,… Continue reading
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Withness
The thing with sharing about myself is thatno one really gets to see meuntil I know how they will hold me with me.Their questions and commentsabout my story or struggleare well-meaning. I just know sometimescomments are used subconsciouslyto create distancebetween my story and themselves. Discomfort is hard. Sometimes people offer bandaidsto help themselves feel better.… Continue reading
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Stolen Beauty
It’s there when a child lets out a final sighTheir tired body melts into their mom’s arms.It’s in the glow of a sunset in the skyGracing the horizon with intense colors. It’s in conversations, where in the mind’s eye,Lively thoughts dance effortlessly between us. It’s there when an old, happy couple walk byHand in wrinkled… Continue reading
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One Thing
Mary didn’t rehearse her lines before the first Christmas. It wasn’t planned out with tape on the stage showing her where to stand, lights fading between scenes, or a freshly cleaned barn for her to lay her body and baby down in. Somehow, this comforts me as I notice my odd yet common desire to… Continue reading
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Tangled Christmas Lights – Part 2
[Part 1 can be found here, and the TLDR could be that, untangling teachings around human depravity and humans being image bearers is even more daunting than untangling Christmas tree lights. I suggested that they can be untangled by rooting our identity in God’s work not ours. So rather than our core identity being sinners… Continue reading
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The Worth Of Knowing 