The Worth Of Knowing

“For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭54:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I expect Him to pursue me when I feel put together.

I’m confused that my level of “put together” has no affect on His desire for me.

I attempt to make myself pleasing to Him.

He says I’m very good because He made me.

I’m clean because He washed me in His blood.

I’m dressed elegantly because He gave me His righteousness.

I’m desirable because He loves me.

I fall to His feet crying from relief that His desire is for me.

I let Him work from within what I could only attempt to paint on from the outside.

I wonder if once He sees what’s really deep inside me He will turn away from me in frustration and utter disappointment.

But He looks at me tenderly with empathy that only one who truly understands can give.

His scraping away at my other loves screeches almost unceasingly in my ears.

He has no mercy for them and their lies –

only for me.