The Worth Of Knowing

“It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High; to declare your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by night, to the music of the lute and the harp, to the melody of the lyre. For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for joy.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭92:1-4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

This pattern of bringing laments to God, remembering His faithfulness, and being filled with hope and praise toward Him keeps coming up in sermons and Scripture I’ve been reading.

Thinking over the past year I’m beginning to see it in my life too.

This has been a year of reflection and processing and grieving and and doubting and learning to hope and trust. It hasn’t been (and still isn’t) a clean cut process and sometimes I feel sorry for the people who’ve been in the “splash zone” of my feelings and confusion.

But God’s been the One I’ve ultimately been questioning and wrestling. Sometimes I’ve been angry toward Him, but He has remained faithful showing up through His Word and His people. And that’s what He has always done for me.

It’s often not in the ways I prefer (why He chooses to work through hurt and evil is both merciful and confusing).

I don’t often recognize it at the time (I’m usually just focused on the wrong or consumed by the lie rather than recognizing God’s big picture).

Sometimes I’ve even pushed against it (as if He was withholding things that would fill my needs).

But He has still protected and cared for me – even molding me in ways I’m not sure if I would have been receptive to if it weren’t for the difficult times.

My feet are dragging, but thanking God for all the ways He has cared for me has been on my mind recently.

Rather than using the hurt that accompanied His care to accuse God of not truly being good to me, I’m challenged to thank God for His hand in it all. They were truly difficult times, “but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position [for a greater good]” (Genesis 50:19-21).

I have hope that my Father will do all things for my good and His glory. I may see some of the greater good today. Or ten years from now. Or maybe in eternity.

“and hope [of the glory of God] does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬