I vacillate between wanting to love You and wanting to be mad at You … between resting in Your love for me and building walls to see how far You’ll go to fight for me.
Accepting Your unconditional love seems dangerous. It feels like I’d be left vulnerable. By definition I’d have no control over it.
I just want to know: where’s the asterisk? Where’s the part where You love me until I go that far from You? Where’s the line that everyone has? When will You push me away saying, “that’s enough”?
Are You able to give me everything that is truly good for me?
When can I be mad at You? Because being low-key angry and holding my own is more familiar then letting myself rest in someones’ love.
I think You are trust worthy.
But can I learn to trust You?
Can I learn to rest from my wall and my kingdom building?
Can I learn to rest in Your embrace?
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
Philippians 1:6 ESV
That’s my hope, Jesus.
The Worth Of Knowing 
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