The Worth Of Knowing

My stomach turned as I drove through the little town. I glanced at the clock in my car and clenched the steering with my hand. So much for making a good impression and being on time.

I pulled into the parking lot and there he was waiting outside for me.

We had decided to meet up to talk in person and “define the relationship.” We sat across from each other at a little table in the back of the coffee shop. I sipped my tea until it was gone and then continued to lift the mug up and turn it nervously in my hand as we talked. We admitted we liked each other, but he was cautious. So we left with the agreement that he would let me know within the next few days if he was ready to be in a relationship.

I don’t remember being overly anxious about what he would decide. I was fairly confident what his answer would be. And I was right.

He chose to pursue a relationship with me.

My husband and I have been married for five years now. I think it’s safe to say he didn’t know exactly what or who he was choosing to pursue when he said “yes” to a having relationship with me.

God knew exactly who He was choosing to pursue when He created people to be in relationship with Him.

When I look at my relationship with God I still feel hesitant to trust that He has full understanding and capability to accept me.

But God chose to pursue a relationship with me even before I was capable of choosing Him – even while I was denying Him and trying to stab Him behind the back. God loved me then.

Jesus didn’t need to die for God to love me. He died because God loved me so that I could love Him. So we could be in a secure relationship.

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.” Romans‬ ‭5:8-9‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Because of Christ, God’s wrath is not and will never be towards me. God loves me where I am now. I am a saint who sins and He is not surprised. God lovingly and justly dealt with that sin through Christ. God is not waiting for me to reach a certain level of sanctification to delight in me or call me His own.

“It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.” Psalm‬ ‭127:2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Daily, many times a day, I will let go of my anxious work and rest in the reality that I am God’s beloved. He loved me and enabled me to choose Him. He knew exactly what it would involve to choose a relationship with me.