Her warm body nestled into mine. My arm resting over her waist. Her hand placed on my arm. My nose pressed against her head breathing in the smell of her freshly washed hair. My wiggly, expressive, imaginative girl relaxed and resting beside me.
I wish it were that easy to trust. I wish it were that easy to love. I wish the triggers, coping skills, and deeply held lies would fall away. I wish I were like a child again.
Maybe that’s what Jesus wants too.
“And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.’ And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.”
Mark 10:13-16 ESV
Maybe as I’m exposed to Jesus’ love the lies, triggers, coping skills – all the things that prevent me from feeling safe and cared for gradually lose their power.
Maybe Jesus will be there even when I don’t feel safe and I run from His arms because He is faithful even to the unfaithful.
Your love is a meadow
I'm free to run around in
Barefoot on the soil
I'm feeling like a child again
What if there’s nothing to be afraid of
I think you’re closer than my blood
What if you’re in the lines on my hands
I think your heart is beating in my chest
And I need only to breathe in your love
Meadow, Jillian Edwards
The Worth Of Knowing 
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