The Worth Of Knowing

Sweet Girl:

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for how you were not told about the significance of your sexuality apart from marriage. I’m sorry for when it’s been implied that your sexuality is dirty before marriage and is only redeemed by the positive influence it may have on your possible future husband. I’m sorry for when you’ve been met with silence when you ask what the purpose of your sexuality is if you never marry. I’m sorry for when you’ve felt you’ve been left powerless in relationships with men because of the argument that your sexuality is your power over men, but, of course, you can’t use it except (to some ambiguous, appropriate amount) over your husband (if you have one).

I want you to know that before all the do’s and don’ts, purity rings, and measuring tape, your sexuality is ultimately not for you or anyone else to use or define as they please.

I want you to know your sexuality is first about God’s glory. Maybe that’s by directly fulfilling God’s command to multiply and fill the earth. But it is certainly by being an image of Christ and His Church either in marriage (Ephesians 5) or in singleness. Because, in case you weren’t told, your singleness is an example of Christ’s love for His Church.

“But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”
2 Peter 3:9 ESV (emphasis mine)

Jesus is patient toward His beloved, His Bride. He is waiting for His Bride (which He loves as His own body) for her good and God’s glory. But when God gives Him the word He will come for His Bride and nothing will stop Him.

Maybe one of the purposes of our waiting (in singleness or marriage) is to be reminded of how Jesus patiently waits for His Beloved. Maybe it’s to remind us how much He longs to bring His Church to Himself, but is restraining Himself until she is ready and God will be most glorified. God alone knows when that will be.

And maybe that’s where the other comfort is found. Jesus knows what it’s like to wait expectantly. He knows what it’s like to fervently hope for an unspecified period of time. He is very much with us in our waiting.

Not only that, the Church and creation itself eagerly waits and longs for Jesus’ return (Romans 8). Maybe this longing (both for a person/marriage and for Christ’s return) is not something we need to escape at all costs, but endure. Though we groan inwardly we won’t be consumed because the Holy Spirit will help us and go before God for us. (Romans 8).

Sweet girl, the church has gone back and forth on its view of the morality of sexuality and marriage/singleness since its beginning. It’s left a lot of cultural beliefs to untangle. But God’s view hasn’t. He made sexuality (both in singleness and marriage) good and to be used for good and for His glory.

I’m sorry if you were told otherwise. It shouldn’t have happened.