The Worth Of Knowing

Mary didn’t rehearse her lines before the first Christmas. It wasn’t planned out with tape on the stage showing her where to stand, lights fading between scenes, or a freshly cleaned barn for her to lay her body and baby down in.

Somehow, this comforts me as I notice my odd yet common desire to prepare for the unknown and control the uncontrollable.

Right from the beginning Mary says “I am your servant. Let it be to me as you have said.”

I remember my first baby growing inside of me and the feeling of being overtaken by another creature I’ve never seen. I remember the feeling of lack of understanding or and lack of control, but also feeling like it was all a bit miraculous.

Miracles are out of our control. That’s what they have in common with everyday life. That’s what they have in common with the Christmas season. Expectation. Lack of control. Thinking we know our cues and realizing our role has changed last minute and will we be able to take care of the afterbirth?

or maybe wipe up our child’s vomit while family gathers elsewhere?

or show patience and undeserved love to those who trigger and irritate us?

I don’t know all my lines for this Christmas. I’m not even sure what scenes I’ll be in. I feel the pull from myself and others to get it just right. Like I’ll leave the rest of the cast hanging if I stumble over my lines.

But I’m reminded of another Mary and how Jesus said that she had found the one important thing. Maybe it’s the one thing that is important for me in this season too. Maybe, like Jesus’s friend Mary, I will sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to Him. (Luke 10:38-42)

Maybe in sitting near Him I will then have the faith to say, “I am your servant. Let it be to me as you have said.”

Whatever that may be.