The Worth Of Knowing

Husbands and wives:

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry if the model and idea of marriage was served to you with cynicism. I’m sorry if the divorce rate was described more like an unstoppable monster than a statistic that bows before the hand of God. I’m sorry if Christian marriage was described more often as two sinners committing their lives to each other than two saints committing to live together for Christ.

I’m also sorry if the idea of marriage was served to you with unrealistic optimism. I’m sorry if it was painted as superior than singleness – if you were not told that both singleness and marriage point to the patience, purity, and faithful love of Christ. I’m sorry if it was implied that marriage would somehow make you whole – as if anyone apart from Christ could fill that vast longing you carry. I’m sorry if you were encouraged with promises that lust would essentially be gone and that self control and contentment would come so much more easily.

I’m sorry if you were given a cookie cutter model of Biblical marriage and the roles of husbands and wives. I’m sorry if good intentions turned to legalism. I’m sorry if you were not warned that roles in marriage are places to worship God, but that if you hold them too closely you can find yourself worshipping in a temple you did not intend to be in.

Husbands, I’m sorry if your role as the leader of your household was distilled down to being the primary breadwinner. I’m sorry if you were not discipled in protecting and providing for your family spiritually and emotionally. I’m sorry if you were not told that one of your holiest callings is to prioritize your wife’s relationship with her first Savior and to actively train your children in the ways of the Lord. I’m sorry if you were not shown how to protect their minds, their God-honoring creativity, and their relationships with Jesus. I’m sorry if these things were not mentioned as part of a husband’s call to manage his household well.

And, wives, I’m sorry if you were not told that submitting and nurturing means more than mindless obedience and checking off a long to-do list. I’m sorry if you were not told that your submission is to be ultimately to Christ – that you have the calling to submit to your husband who is to be submitted to Christ. Submitting to a man who is self-seeking should not be the status quo. I’m sorry if you were not told that you can nurture your husband and children not only with food and a clean home, but with encouragement and opportunities to feast on the Word of God. I’m sorry if it was implied that because your children are precious, you have to consistently deny your own human limits to care for them better. I’m sorry if you were told that the hand who rocks the cradle rules the world, but no one offered to give you a moment to use the bathroom or spend precious time alone with your Savior.

Husbands and wives, God made marriage and the roles of husband and wife good and to be used for good and for His glory.

I’m sorry if you were told otherwise. It shouldn’t have happened.