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saving hope
nope, it’s not fair. it’s not what I’d choose. sometimes even the good feels like it’s taunting me. but. even still. God is working out my salvationin all of this. He is doing a work I would not believe if He told me.I will rejoice in Him, my saving hope. ““Look among the nations, and Continue reading
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Let’s Not Be Sorry Anymore
I feel anxious.I feel overwhelmed.I feel confused.But I have learnedI am not alone,I am brave,and I am not sorry for difficult things.They are challenges. They are opportunities. They are windowsto see God.When I fail,He is there. When I succeed,He is there. The end is always the same- God with me. I am not sorry for Continue reading
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When I don’t feel safe with God
An open window into my thoughts last night because (if we’re honest) I’m sure many Christians feel similarly: I realized I was using sin to cope with feeling unaccepted. And it dawned on me – I truly sensed it – that I didn’t “need” that anymore to be/feel accepted. I was safe enough to let Continue reading
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Dear sister, daughter, friend: I’m sorry
Sweet Girl: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how you were not told about the significance of your sexuality apart from marriage. I’m sorry for when it’s been implied that your sexuality is dirty before marriage and is only redeemed by the positive influence it may have on your possible future husband. I’m sorry for when Continue reading
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throne of my heart
I thought I was bullying Youoff the “throne of my heart”every time I failed to obey You. I thought being a living sacrifice meant being tied to guilt for a lifetime. But now? I don’t think You would so easilygive up the throne You died to sit on. You’re there to stay. I’m the one Continue reading
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When it rains …
I stared at the sky full of brooding, dark clouds and said with a sigh, “It looks like it’s about to rain. I guess I won’t be able to go.” My friend looked out the same window for a moment and replied, “The sun’s peaking out through the clouds over there. I’ve gone out on Continue reading
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Mercy Truimphs
When my curiosity runs dry and I’ve named my anger “righteous” the one thing that can keep my heart from growing hard is looking into the perfect Word and seeing perfect righteousness as my reflection. It stops me in my self confident tracks. Because I know. I know that’s not my goodness. But it also Continue reading
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No Lack
I wrap my hand around a mug – the one with the flowers and leaves. My other hand holds a Bible – the one with the worn leather cover. I say a prayer that my heart would be soft and receptive of the Word as the water heats on the stove. I open the tea Continue reading
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Prayer to the Shepherd
Gather the scattered.Bind up the injured.Strengthen the weak.Anoint us in the valleyand let Your Word light the way. Satisfy us with the Bread of Lifein the midst of our enemies. Fill our cups to overflowingwith Your presence.In the wilderness – the in between – let us find our home in You.Be our good Shepherd. “I Continue reading
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Called
I hear it now:Your call to obedianceis always an invitationto relationship. Apart from the VineI can do nothing. But the Vine’s ability is made evidentin my inability aswe abide. Me in You. You in Me. Your ability running through me.Your fruit on my limbs. You call me to obey. And You call me to witness Continue reading
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One Day
One day there will be no space between us. No downcast eyes. No attempt to hide parts of myself.No hesitancy in affection. No restricting hope with fear of disappointment. No brokenness pieced together. Only every broken thing made new. No shadows. Only joyful fullness. No more thirst. Only the satisfying quenching of it. You abiding Continue reading
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kneaded
I feel like dough being kneaded. Folded over, pressed down again and again – grief with hope, joy with sadness. There’s no having one without the other. But there is hope. “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope Continue reading
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With Me
I knowto be adopted by a sovereign Godat the cost of His own Sonleaves no room for reasonable doubtthat I am chosen,protected,and beloved.I knowto be brought into God’s family means the lies I heardfor so long -the ones I recitedto make sense of chaos -no longer apply.I have agencyto think differently,to feel differently,to choose differently. Continue reading
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Some Things To Leave Behind
Beliefs I’m realizing probably need to be left behind: The belief that my sin separates me from God (despite my profession of faith in the sufficiency of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross). The belief that “we can’t know the depth of God’s love if we don’t know the depth of our sin.” The belief that Continue reading
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Take Me In
The Lord took me in.I asked him, “Why?”He said, “Because you’re my child”I scoffed – like Sarah.It was a nice sentiment, I thought. But He was persistentHe held me When I said “I’m fine.”He bandaged me When I said “there’s worse off.”He pursued meWhen I said “I’m not going far.”I asked “why?”He said, “because you’re Continue reading
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What does God say when I disobey?
I was laying on the floor next to my toddlers’ bed, his hand in mine, when he randomly asked me, “What does God say when we disobey?” I was surprised and amused and stumbled through an answer. I’ve been asking myself the same question since. Our answer tells us a lot about what we believe Continue reading
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The Edge of Goodness
While in the wildernessI refused to enter the pleasant placesYou prepared for me. I refused to obey the Lord. In another land,my body was familiar with the ache of being controlled.My heart was comfortedby the predictable disappointmentof half-truths.But Your promises were my hope.And then, joyous day,You brought me out of that place. And now I Continue reading
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The Kitchen Table
[read part one of the story here] I walked behind Mr. Grable’s medium frame toward the kitchen. It was situated across the entryway from the living room. I glanced at the white sofa before sitting down on a wooden chair at the kitchen table. It was embarrassing to remember how I had yelled at Mr. Continue reading
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When “Purity” Is At the Expense of Holiness
I’m not going to beat around the bush: Sometimes we use “purity” and avoiding “temptation” as a cop out to avoid doing the deeper work required to be in fellowship with the Body of Christ. Pursuing sexual purity is not how we get – or stay – in relationship with God. [moment of huge relief!!] Continue reading
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Shattered
It feels a bit to good be true: probably the most Christian way to live is from a place of rest, security, and love – to love from a place of being loved by God. [When we resist that idea I think it’s insightful to ask why that is. For me, it often involves a Continue reading
The Worth Of Knowing 