doubt
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peace
I feel like I’m tossing in unpredictable waves, but that’s not where I turn my attention. I close my eyes. In my minds eye I see him there, sleeping peacefully in the stern. During other stormy seasons I’ve cried out, “Don’t you care?” as the disciples did. Or “How can you, a pure God, let Continue reading
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I Have Found
I have looked into Your eyesand I have dared to tell Youthe truth:I’m scaredto justbeherewith You. I have found thatwhen I think I need to be moreYou are not surprised-as if You are familiar with the ways of my heart. You are patient-as if all time is at Your disposal. You remain committed-as if You Continue reading
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Walking around unfinished
“That’s … mean,” my four year old muttered at the thought of God allowing harm to come to him. I let those words hang in the air for a moment as I lay next to him in his bed. “I know. Sometimes I feel that way too, but God knows so much more than us.” Continue reading
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Perception of God: Experiences + Knowledge
“This was so not worth it!” my six year old said as we walked back toward our car after our one mile hike. I was a little disappointed. “Well, you did find fun things to collect along the way,” I reminded her, “And you got to see the big river at the look out.” “Still Continue reading
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On the Trail
The other day my six year old started out our mile hike sprinting. My husband and I looked at each other smiling as she continued to run up a hill. She was fast and determined, but we knew what was inevitably going to happen. Halfway up the hill she stopped in her tracks and lay Continue reading
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The Fence: A Poem on Salvation and Doubt
They say you’re either for or against;There’s no room for sitting on the fence. What about when I can’t enjoy my sin,But I don’t trust God – where’s he been?When my mind is consumed with doubtI plead to God for a way out. I’m waiting on the fence. All I hear is silence. The pastor Continue reading
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How doubt can be part of a believer’s journey to closeness with God
I told myself I’d give him a chance. People I love seemed to respect him. I wouldn’t make hasty judgements. I wouldn’t look for faults. I’d remain open to learn from him. But then he stood behind the pulpit and spoke. I groaned inwardly. Not 30 seconds had gone by and he reminded me of Continue reading
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Keep Me
I wonder if trusting in my faith in Jesus to save me is the reformed version of trusting in my work for Jesus to save me. Yeah … that can be a hard one to swallow. But coming to terms with this has also been one of the most freeing, wonderful things I’ve experienced. And Continue reading
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Stolen Beauty
It’s there when a child lets out a final sighTheir tired body melts into their mom’s arms.It’s in the glow of a sunset in the skyGracing the horizon with intense colors. It’s in conversations, where in the mind’s eye,Lively thoughts dance effortlessly between us. It’s there when an old, happy couple walk byHand in wrinkled Continue reading
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Disloyal Hope
Hope fills me like air in a balloon. The possibilities swell inside me. A smile’s on my face but I know this tuneAnd that in the end I will not float free.I bounce around all light and cheery.While wishing I were one or the other -Free as a bird or tethered securelyTo avoid my ending Continue reading
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nice sentiments
Sometimes I wonder:Is it just a nice sentimentthat God calls me His child?I don’t doubt that God loves me,I often doubt His love is effective. Is me being “daughter” more than a hollow privilege?Why would a Father send a Spirit to comfort a child in a body?Why do we celebrate His Son’s broken body while Continue reading
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Carried By Hope
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”Philippians 1:6 ESV I’ve found this verse so reassuring recently. Because the honest truth is I wonder if I’m not enough for God to want to really love me and Continue reading
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Learning to Hope
“It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High; to declare your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by night, to the music of the lute and the harp, to the melody of the lyre. For you, O Lord, have made me glad by Continue reading
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The Space Between
I think we need to have a little imagination to have faith. Because faith in the gospel is embracing that there is hope. And hope is something we can’t fully see but rest and find joy in anyway. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 Continue reading
The Worth Of Knowing 