healing
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Christian and Depressed
Depression is, I think, is hard for two reasons – it makes present life feel overwhelmingly impossible (thanks, exhaustion and lowered executive functioning) and it takes away our ability to hope or imagine a better future. It’s feeling stuck in a dark hole and incapable of doing anything about it. Put Christianity into that function Continue reading
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“One who gives me rest”
As these lyrics have run through my mind, I’ve felt the common thread running through all of them. Tonight my anxious mind wanted to stop the running, and I guess you could say “thread the needle” to see them all neatly typed side by side. It looks a bit like a patchwork quilt … one Continue reading
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Touched
“I Can See You” by T Swift … quite the inappropriate song, but the line “But what would you do if I went to touch you now?” got me thinking. It made me think of how inappropriate it was for Jesus to touch the leper (and miraculously heal him rather than becoming infected by the Continue reading
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Pleasant Places
The verses that inspired “The Edge of Goodness” the poem (and later became the name for my book) were from Psalm 106: ”They despised the pleasant land and did not believe his promise. They grumbled in their tents and did not listen to the Lord.“ Psalms 106:24-25 CSB Despising pleasant places sounded strange and intriguing, Continue reading
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Withness: Sitting in someone else’s discomfort
The thing with sharing about myself is thatno one really gets to see meuntil I know how they will hold me with me.Their questions and commentsabout my story or struggleare well-meaning. I just know sometimescomments are used subconsciouslyto create distancebetween my story and themselves. Discomfort is hard. Sometimes people offer bandaidsto help themselves feel better. Continue reading
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Disloyal Hope
Hope fills me like air in a balloon. The possibilities swell inside me. A smile’s on my face but I know this tuneAnd that in the end I will not float free.I bounce around all light and cheery.While wishing I were one or the other -Free as a bird or tethered securelyTo avoid my ending Continue reading
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The Field
I stumble to a stop in the middle of the field and nearly collapse to the ground. I look over my shoulder and see you strolling toward me with a gentle, knowing look in your eyes. At first I think this is perfect, I’m exhausted from my antics of trying to get you to leave Continue reading
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Let’s Not Be Sorry Anymore
I feel anxious.I feel overwhelmed.I feel confused.But I have learnedI am not alone,I am brave,and I am not sorry for difficult things.They are challenges. They are opportunities. They are windowsto see God.When I fail,He is there. When I succeed,He is there. The end is always the same- God with me. I am not sorry for Continue reading
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The Kitchen Table
[read part one of the story here] I walked behind Mr. Grable’s medium frame toward the kitchen. It was situated across the entryway from the living room. I glanced at the white sofa before sitting down on a wooden chair at the kitchen table. It was embarrassing to remember how I had yelled at Mr. Continue reading
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Shattered
It feels a bit to good be true: probably the most Christian way to live is from a place of rest, security, and love – to love from a place of being loved by God. [When we resist that idea I think it’s insightful to ask why that is. For me, it often involves a Continue reading
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I will dare
I will look into Your eyesand I will dare to tell Youthe truth:I’m scaredto just behere with You.Because then, I think, You might be unimpressed. You might grow impatient.You might lose interest. You might leave.I’ve wanted to be more-to pleaseto self-improveto be needed. But I’m confused.Disappointed.I thought this washow to be with You. When it’s Continue reading
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A Human Body
“For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body.”Colossians 2:9 NLT I think I’m beginning to accept a bit of the significance of Jesus being in a human body. But one aspect of the implications of this has shook me a little: God cares about our bodies. “[Our bodies] were made Continue reading
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Father(s)
You were the skin and bones of my theologybefore I knew how to read the Word.The strong hand I held when my own body felt vulnerable. You were the mouththat laughed and uttered words of shamethat left me confused at how I could be wonderfully madeand still somehow not good enough. You were the armsI Continue reading
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My Heart
Carefully, firmly you remove the bush of thorns and buds, potential for pain and beauty, from the small pot now unnecessary means of confinement that stunted it’s growth. We examine the roots, stems, leaves. You hold it with understanding, pointing out the potential for growth that will be unhindered. We make room in the earth Continue reading
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His Presence
“You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.”Psalms 139:5 NLT Wounds that require stitches or sutures must be treated within 24 hours. Previous personal experience reminded me of this and a quick google search confirmed it so now you’re informed. But what if a doctor wasn’t confined Continue reading
The Worth Of Knowing 