truama
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highly sensitive: how it feels right now
Feeling other’s feelings as your own. Struggling to find where you and those you love begin and end. Coping with disappointment from yourself and others when you come to terms with how low your capacity to do actually is. Being embarrassed by how deeply you love. Simple nostalgia making you feel like you’re on holy Continue reading
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seams tearing: being loved vs. being needed
I was thinking the other day about the first time I knew I loved Jesse. I liked him on and off for a long time. Before we started dating we messaged each other often and I remember being wary, but also curious. When I mentioned to him that the frequency of our messages was as Continue reading
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How doubt can be part of a believer’s journey to closeness with God
I told myself I’d give him a chance. People I love seemed to respect him. I wouldn’t make hasty judgements. I wouldn’t look for faults. I’d remain open to learn from him. But then he stood behind the pulpit and spoke. I groaned inwardly. Not 30 seconds had gone by and he reminded me of Continue reading
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Hidden
I pray we humbly hide ourselves in God’s protective care. I pray we grow to trust that God sees our hurt (Genesis 16:13). I pray we would believe that God is not overwhelmed by evil like we are, but that He in His holiness is strong enough to work in evil to bring about good Continue reading
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Pleasant Places
The verses that inspired “The Edge of Goodness” the poem (and later became the name for my book) were from Psalm 106: ”They despised the pleasant land and did not believe his promise. They grumbled in their tents and did not listen to the Lord.“ Psalms 106:24-25 CSB Despising pleasant places sounded strange and intriguing, Continue reading
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Disloyal Hope
Hope fills me like air in a balloon. The possibilities swell inside me. A smile’s on my face but I know this tuneAnd that in the end I will not float free.I bounce around all light and cheery.While wishing I were one or the other -Free as a bird or tethered securelyTo avoid my ending Continue reading
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A Human Body
“For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body.”Colossians 2:9 NLT I think I’m beginning to accept a bit of the significance of Jesus being in a human body. But one aspect of the implications of this has shook me a little: God cares about our bodies. “[Our bodies] were made Continue reading
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Father(s)
You were the skin and bones of my theologybefore I knew how to read the Word.The strong hand I held when my own body felt vulnerable. You were the mouththat laughed and uttered words of shamethat left me confused at how I could be wonderfully madeand still somehow not good enough. You were the armsI Continue reading
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A Child
Her warm body nestled into mine. My arm resting over her waist. Her hand placed on my arm. My nose pressed against her head breathing in the smell of her freshly washed hair. My wiggly, expressive, imaginative girl relaxed and resting beside me. I wish it were that easy to trust. I wish it were Continue reading
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His Presence
“You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.”Psalms 139:5 NLT Wounds that require stitches or sutures must be treated within 24 hours. Previous personal experience reminded me of this and a quick google search confirmed it so now you’re informed. But what if a doctor wasn’t confined Continue reading
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The Kitchen Sink
I stand by the kitchen sink – stomach tight, jaw clenched. My hands are covered in soap as I shove a dirty fork into the dishwasher. Why is it here doing a daily mundane job that I feel the weight of my messed up past and the weight of the ways I could mess up Continue reading
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Stories Bound by Love
Seeing God in my story and seeking and giving thanks for His presence is a theme that keeps coming up for me. For example, today I read Psalm 105. It starts off like this: “Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing Continue reading
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You Can Handle Me
When my family moved to our current home I was quite happy with the pale blue walls and white trim that already existed. It made the rooms feel light and airy. But as we began to move in I sighed noticing that the white steps and railing was already getting smudged. I would have to Continue reading
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Soar
“‘I have no wish to talknonsense.‘” “‘If you did, it would be in such a grave, quiet manner, I should mistake it for sense. Do you never laugh, Miss Eyre? Don’t trouble yourself to answer–I see you laugh rarely; but you can laugh very merrily: believe me, you are not naturally austere, any more than Continue reading
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Where Strongholds Weaken
It matters how we talk to ourselves about our hurt. There’s a difference between saying “it isn’t that bad” or “that’s just the way it is” and saying “I am living in lies that I’ve let shape my life, but God is stronger than the lies and has protected me.” One acknowledges both the reality Continue reading
The Worth Of Knowing 