trust
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Walking around unfinished
“That’s … mean,” my four year old muttered at the thought of God allowing harm to come to him. I let those words hang in the air for a moment as I lay next to him in his bed. “I know. Sometimes I feel that way too, but God knows so much more than us.” Continue reading
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One Thing
Mary didn’t rehearse her lines before the first Christmas. It wasn’t planned out with tape on the stage showing her where to stand, lights fading between scenes, or a freshly cleaned barn for her to lay her body and baby down in. Somehow, this comforts me as I notice my odd yet common desire to Continue reading
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Take Me In
The Lord took me in.I asked him, “Why?”He said, “Because you’re my child”I scoffed – like Sarah.It was a nice sentiment, I thought. But He was persistentHe held me When I said “I’m fine.”He bandaged me When I said “there’s worse off.”He pursued meWhen I said “I’m not going far.”I asked “why?”He said, “because you’re Continue reading
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The Edge of Goodness
While in the wildernessI refused to enter the pleasant placesYou prepared for me. I refused to obey the Lord. In another land,my body was familiar with the ache of being controlled.My heart was comfortedby the predictable disappointmentof half-truths.But Your promises were my hope.And then, joyous day,You brought me out of that place. And now I Continue reading
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The Kitchen Table
[read part one of the story here] I walked behind Mr. Grable’s medium frame toward the kitchen. It was situated across the entryway from the living room. I glanced at the white sofa before sitting down on a wooden chair at the kitchen table. It was embarrassing to remember how I had yelled at Mr. Continue reading
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Mulberries & Grace
They’ve been there whether I’veacknowledged their presenceor not -whether I have experienced their sweetnessor assumed they’re poisonous. Because I know the harm ofpretty thingsand am sometimes wary of goodness. Either way, they ripen begging to be gathered;a days worth at a time.If I slowed downto familiarize myself with themto reach outand gently,gentlyhold onein my hand Continue reading
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Father(s)
You were the skin and bones of my theologybefore I knew how to read the Word.The strong hand I held when my own body felt vulnerable. You were the mouththat laughed and uttered words of shamethat left me confused at how I could be wonderfully madeand still somehow not good enough. You were the armsI Continue reading
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Open to Heaven
In asking for heaven on earth we are, like Jesus in Gethsemane or the saints in Hebrews 11, asking for something we may not receive in the way or timing we want. Yet we are told to ask none the less. “May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it Continue reading
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When Doubt Doesn’t Equal Insecurity
Like many deep feeling/thinking introverts I’ve gone through my far share of seasons of doubt, confusion, and anger toward God. They used to make me so fearful. This last season was different, though. I stopped saying I was “questioning my faith.” I started being honest that I was questioning God’s character. I knew I had Continue reading
The Worth Of Knowing 